The Council of Elitists Reject your Permit to Exist
Grey sun passes between titans, casting
Hand-puppets on city walls
Who are you to tell me what to believe?
These shadows are as heavy
As absent space around distressed egos.
Once, I aspired to join
Ghost idols of my romanticism
But the shifting nature of
Individualism changes context.
Everything is dead, hear?
Gutted houses only keep their acoustics
If their imprint remains.
We regurgitated our own last supper,
In tiny apartments
With pornographic righteousness.
You showed your thoughts to me
Eloquently, by taping my heart to a drain
Crudely in the bathtub.
Panic rainbows behind my eyes on the stairs;
Products of betrayal.
Of seeing your truth in full cruel nudity.
Broken sanguinity.
Coming of age, depressions rite of passage;
Grown through adversity
Party at despair’s pinnacle with strangers.
I am shown a way out.
I want to violate my life to ditch pain.
Why cling to an absurd?
Why continue to exist when I’m done?
Against my brain I stand;
Defiant!
In hindsight, duality teaches us
That community breeds
Misanthropy; you can’t hang your skin on
A coat rack that only cares
For drowning its own its own inferiorities
With fun cocaine and whiskey.
Stability can’t exist in New York.
Stability can’t exist.
Without accepting we are all alone.
Oil on canvas
2017